subscribe

My Photo

Just a young girl completely in love with travel and fashion.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Lost Love in Osaka, Japan.

What do you do when you can't find your way home? I've never really felt that I had a home to go to when I find myself lost, but when I was in Japan, I had a host family that always left the lights on for me so that I could follow it and find my way back to them. I've never felt so loved and accepted before, and the last thing that I wanted to do was to have them worry about me...
But when I was in Japan, I had lost my way home. I had decided to go out into town with another friend of mine to explore Namba, Osaka. It was a great experience to navigate our way through a foreign country-with the glittering lights behind us, the busy buzz of civilians everywhere, the smell of delicious and cheap street food-we were young and completely enjoying our youth.
We danced to the sounds of Japanese and Korean music blasting from the night clubs, uncovered an underground shop, feasted on Ramen noodles, and didn't have a care in the world.
But pretty soon, it was past 11:00 PM and in Japan some trains stop operating after this time. Even when we were warned not to take the rapid express train home, we took it anyway in a rush to get to our homes quickly. 
We didn't get off at the correct stop and ended up at the southern end of Osaka, far away from home and no way to get home. Our feet ached, our minds were weary, and our hearts were heavy. We had no other way to get in contact with our loved ones either. We were completely on our own at an empty Japanese train station around 12 midnight.
 I was strangely calm even though knowing that I was lost. I only remember thinking that I will always find my way home one way or another, and being worried wouldn't help anything.
 After standing around at the empty train station for a while, we luckily caught another train headed close to home. The train station workers knew our predicament just by looking at us, and decided to not charge us further fare as well. It's funny how body language is superbly universal.
The train could not take us all the way home, so our best bet was to take a taxi. Keep in mind that I am the only one in our whole group that doesn't know any Japanese, but I had a receipt from a store in my home town that I had, and showed it to the taxi driver. Miraculously, he knew where to go and took us all the way home. With a 60.00 dollar fee of course.
I was glad that I eventually found my way home, even though it was about one in the morning. But I was proud of myself for having so much hope during tough times.
My host family was a bit worried for me, but all was well when I explained to them what had happened.
I was glad that they were so understanding, I never had that before and it was nice to not be scolded at for simply living my life.
If you ever find yourself lost one day, unable to find your way home, please don't lose hope. Keep calm and know that things will be okay. They were for me and they will be for you. Go out there and enjoy your life for what it is.

Always Remember,

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful,

Love,

V


Follow Me On Bloglovin'

Outfit deets

Dress Love Culture

Heels Dolce Vita

Photographer Bianca Xiong

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Escape Into Me.

Growing up I never thought I was beautiful.
Whenever I looked into the mirror, I saw every flaw I had. I would stand in front of the mirror and pick myself apart because of the way I looked and how much I weighed. As I stared longer, I saw my deepest fears, my lack of self confidence, my frailties, my vulnerabilities, my weaknesses--it was all a sickness that I felt I couldn't find a cure for.
I was broken and I looked to other people to put myself back together. I used to look for approval whenever I wanted to do something and couldn't for the life of me, make my own decisions so I would let others make them for me. If they told me that I couldn't do it, then I wouldn't do it. I set myself up for failure before I even gave it my all.
I had been like this for years. Never loving myself, never taking care of myself, never sticking up for myself and letting myself be a total doormat for others to walk all over. I guess at one point, after hitting rock bottom so many times, I finally had enough. And when I finally realized I had enough, I was stripped of almost everything that made me human. Self hatred has eaten me from the inside out and I was just a skeleton with warped emotions living an empty life with those who made me feel empty.
Because I didn't love myself, I think that was why I would also attract people who would treat me the exact same way. The one person that loved me no matter how badly I treated myself was my grandmother. She made the holiday's less lonely, my birthday's more festive, my life achievements filled with more value. But ever since she passed away, even with Peaches by my side, it was as if I drifted back into the abyss of self loathing. 2014 has been a changing year for me because I didn't want to live like this forever. I wanted to lead a different life where I didn't hate myself and where I didn't have people in it who would put me down when I was already down.
So on May 27th 2014, I traveled halfway across the world to a foreign country to celebrate my birthday, to celebrate myself, to heal myself from all the hurt I've experienced, and to get away from those who have hurt me as well. It was only 2 weeks, but I've learned more in those 2 weeks than I have ever learned in my whole life.
I came back a different person. I realized my flaws...such as my weight, my looks, and how I can be a little bit sensitive...and I embraced each and every one of them.
I realized that I am so much more than my flaws. I am also a young woman with dreams, who isn't afraid to chase after them. I am a young woman who dared to stare fear right in the eyes, knowing that fear would stare right back into mine. I am strong because I survived. I survived everything that I have been through and more. And now, I am a young woman who finally accepts her flaws.
 I am human and I am a who human who is finally whole again because I put myself back together.
When I look back at all I've been through, I am not ashamed because all of those experiences made me who I am. It's such an exhilarating feeling, to tear away from making the same old decisions and living the same old life. It feels so good to become someone who you always wanted to be but were always afraid to become.
I no longer have to run away from myself. I don't have to surround myself with people who don't support me. I don't need to pick on myself because of my weight, how I look, and the way I lead my life. This is all me and this is the year that I've learned to celebrate it!
Now I run towards my dreams and towards self acceptance. In return, I have found people who genuinely care for me and love me for who I am. I don't look for someone to complete me anymore, but someone who accepts me completely. And this is the kind of love that we should all strive for. A world where we love ourselves for who we are and to have someone else who loves you for who you are as well.
I hope that all your dreams and wishes come true next year. No matter how much you change, remember that your past makes you who you are, and there is no need to be ashamed of it. Practice self love, follow your heart, and strive to be a better you.

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful,

Love Always,

V


Follow me on Bloglovin'

Outfit deets

Dress XSCAPE

Heels Dolce Vita

Photography by Mary Vang


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Make-A-Wish Foundation Wine, Women, & Shoes Fundraising Event


I think that even if an opportunity of a lifetime happens to fall on your lap and scream at you to go for it-if you do not fully believe in yourself, there is a 99.9% chance that you would turn it down and walk away from it because you feel that you aren't good enough to go for it.
Sometimes opportunities show up when we least expect them too and when we aren't prepared for them to happen to us. We can choose to fall back into our old habits of letting opportunities pass us by and live the same life and follow the same routine, or we can choose to believe that we are worthy of life-changing experiences with the time we have left to live.
The most incredible gesture that you can do for yourself no matter how old you are is to believe in the beauty of your dreams and always have a sense of wonder that things will eventually work out in the end. One of my dreams that I have always wanted to realize is to see a real live fashion show, and that opportunity came along when the Make-A-Wish Foundation held the fundraising event, Wine, Women, and Shoes that took place at the same time as Fashion Week in New York, London, Milan, and Paris.
  At first I did not want to attend because one-I had no one to go with and two-I did not know what I was going to do with myself even if I did decide to go. But I bought the ticket anyway because I wanted to do this for me and after all, it was for a good cause.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation grants the wish of any child between the ages of 2-1/2 and 18 who faces a life-threatening condition. They believe that "a wish come true helps children feel stronger, more energetic, more willing and able to battle their life threatening conditions. For many, the wish marks a turning point in the fight against their illnesses. Doctors, nurses, and other health professionals say, the wish experience works in concert with medicine to make their patients feel better emotionally and even physically. That is why wishes matter..." This is exactly why they grant wishes. (wish.org/wishes)
I believe that the bravest souls are the children who face the possibility of death everyday, and still live life as if there is no tomorrow. It is honestly inspiring to see these children fight for their lives and somehow find a way to smile through it all. Seeing this makes me wonder why some of us who are lucky enough to be healthy are afraid to live out our own lives. Aging is unstoppable, youth is indeed fleeting...even more so with terminal illness, that is why every second should be cherished.
When I entered the private estate where the Make-A-Wish Wine, Women, and Shoes event was held, I was greeted with a glass of wine and a red carpet photo op that featured all of the sponsors for the event. This is one of the proudest and most pivotal moments in my life, because it represented that I finally loved myself enough to do something that I have always wanted to do. From that moment on, I wasn't afraid to be alone at this special event anymore.
I decided to wear my skirt that I designed and pair it with a white crop top, nude heels, and a nice pop of red with a chic clutch. Not even a minute passed by, and I had the opportunity to take a picture with Graciela Moreno. She is an ABC 30 news anchor and the host of Latino Life. In person, she is so humble, down to earth, and refreshingly fashionable!
As I walked around on my own, there were many vendors selling jewelry, clothes, and precious goods. 
Endless amounts of wine that were considered the best in the state were poured every minute into crystal clear glasses. This was also the day that I've acquired a taste for red wine.
I have learned that pairing great wine with equally great food is an age old artistry. Wine and food is like seeing two people who are completely in love with each other. Their love is so strong that you can see the sparkling, electric chemistry that only grows stronger with time. The love that they have between them eventually solidifies two separate people into one entity. You can tell that if one of them were to leave this world, the other cannot go on living. Certain foods are meant to go with certain wines, some things are just meant to be.
There were also wines that were for sale where all of the proceeds would go towards the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Raffles were also being held and some lucky people won some amazing prizes.
The runway was set up nicely and there were a lot of beautiful clothes being shown. I sat in the second row when the fashion show started.
The venue reminded me of a picturesque scene of an English country cottage straight out of London. 
And it turns out that I wasn't alone after all, my amazing friend Ameet Kaur Nagra was there with her company as well. It was really nice to see a familiar face in an unfamiliar setting. 
It is true that a simple hello can lead to a million possibilities. At first I thought that this beautiful lady was a fashion editor covering the event because she was walking around in a very trendy dress snapping photos left and right. I complimented her outfit of choice and asked who she was and what she was doing here-I assumed she was a fashion editor. Turns out her name is Diana Rambo, the Executive Director of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
That day, the Make-A-Wish Foundation raised thousands of dollars for charity. Everyone who donated was given a black feather boa. I felt very blessed to be a part of it all. At the end of the event, the Shoe Guys who served us all wine and food passed out goodie bags to everyone!

Taking a chance on yourself should always be an obligation that you should fulfill and the children of the Make-A-Wish Foundation are an example of it all. They aren't afraid to make their biggest wishes and fully believe in them even when there is a likelihood that tomorrow may not ever come again.
Sometimes people give up on themselves and walk away because they are afraid of failure, but I have learned that the only real failure is not trying. I understand fear very well and it can cripple you from living the life you have always dreamed of. 
But that is only because fear cannot bear the weight of our dreams. But confidence, courage, and hope can. We are lucky enough to have all the time in the world to better our lives and chase our dreams, so why not start now?

Always remember

 Be Brave, Be Bold, Be Beautiful,

Love,

V