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Just a young girl completely in love with travel and fashion.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Never Let Go Of Nostalgia.

A life time ago...we held each other's hands, intertwined our fingers that lace together so perfectly, and both breathed a collective sigh that was in rhythmic tune with the beat of our hearts.
I knew that you would be my best friend, my lover, my reason for living. But what I also knew, was something that I've run away from for a long time as well. I think you knew it too, but the funny thing is, you've also run away from it along with me. Together we ran, from this thing called the inevitable. The inevitable that wanted to devour us, to destroy our foundation of love, to cease our life that we tried to build together. Though in every which way we turned, we would always find a way to avoid it and continue our escapade.
Running away with you has been amazing. Hand in hand, each step taken together at the same pace..if I was tired, you would stop with me, never going further and I would do the same, never leaving you behind.
Then there were those summer nights, when the times were so intense and the world was against us. I held you so tightly, buried my face in your chest to hide the tears that fell from my eyes, and told you to never leave me, and you would whisper the exact words that I wanted to hear, "I won't ever leave you." I look up, eyes brimming with tears and run my fingers through your brass copper hair with hints of blond, and we shared a kiss that awoken an insatiable hunger for more.

My body was your muse that drew magnificent inspirations out of thin air...
My emotions were the sea you swam through every morning, passing the small currents that would reach 7 foot waves you've conquered uniquely without dismay. 
I remember the canopy you made out of Moroccan cloth, it flowed gently with the cool crisp salty air of the beach where we both laid down on a makeshift bed. Your warm, wet breath breathed down my neck, sending thrilling chills down my spine that simultaneously caused an arch in my back where your hands held on to, while your lips explored the rest of my curves as I held on to you...
 To finally surrender our bodies whilst showing our vulnerabilities is something that is unnatural to me, because I've never felt safe enough to show anyone my true self, but you were the first to change that. You gave me a love that promised both magic and hopelessness, and delivered on both.

You were my greatest love during the golden days of our younger years. The days of the wild, the beautiful, the young, and the free. The days we gladly opened our arms to chance and change, and embraced every second of it all. When we danced under the northern skies during the long twilight hours, relishing in each other's presence. When we chanted our dreams out loud at the top of our lungs because the echoes that reverberated and riffed-raffed throughout the night was mysteriously cool.
...But you were also my greatest loss, and I think... I hope that...that I was yours too... 
 You were the air that I breathed in and out every day. You were the light that illuminated rays of heaven in an empty cold space. You were the warmth I needed to feel in order to be alive. 
You loved me in the best of ways and the worst of ways.
Nostalgia. 
You've pumped my veins with diesel, forced my lungs to inhale your fumes, and set me on fire.
I have lived a century and died over a thousand times...
My body has burned to ash and for a while, a long, long while...
I just want to lay here with you...
To hold your hands, and intertwine our fingers that still lace up so perfectly...
The flames of a Phoenix signals rebirth, but only for one of us.
For just for this while, I want to stay charred with the remains of our past, holding on to you, where we can continue running away together in our dreams. 
I know that one day, I should wake. I know that you would want me to wake up too..
But for tonight, let me stay with you a little while longer...
 "There is a deeper, sadder kind of love that doesn't signal the beginning of something beautiful, but the end of something that might have been beautiful. Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It's the sad truth, but the truth nonetheless. The fact is...love is not enough, love is never going to be enough, because love is not rational."

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful

Love,

V

 

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Photography by Christine Serapion

Outfit Details

Dress Kelly Love Urban Outfitters

Heels Dolce Vita




Thursday, February 19, 2015

Current Obession: Izak Zenou

I am a very picky person, I don't always make the decision right away to buy something unless I really like it. I think part of why I am like this is due to my upbringing. I grew up poor and I watched my mother and grandmother work hard to get us all by, so I guess it's always in me to find the best deals for the items that I want and love....and take a really long time to see if I should buy it. My current obsession as of late are the designs by Izak Zenou. 
 His illustrations are seriously chic, whimsical, & so Parisian, I just love them! So far I bought a passport case, a travel bag, and a cosmetic case. I've been traveling a lot lately throughout my country and internationally, I feel it necessary that I should at least have stylish travel essentials, right?
I feel like I've discovered Izak Zenou pretty late in the game. He's been lending his beautiful artistic creations to the fashion industry for over two decades. In fact, he's one of the most well known fashion illustrators in the world.
 It's quite inspiring to see how his illustrations have impacted the fashion industry in such a big way. Because when we think of fashion, we only think of designers, fashion editors, and photographers... so to me it's amazing how fashion illustration is also a skilled trade. I've been interested in designing clothes lately, and his illustrations make me want to improve my artistic abilities as well!
 His art always depict a strong, yet feminine, confident, positive, modern woman living her life fully and happily. I'm sure that we all have different styles and different upbringings, and not all women like to dress in super "fem" clothing, but I am sure that all women want to be confident, strong, optimistic, and to lead a happy life (which I talk about most of the time in my little blurbs). Izak illustrates all of that in his designs.
I've found a few items of his for an affordable price and I've listed the link below, so if you are interested you can check it out. Remember to do what makes you happy and don't feel guilty about doing something for yourself. I have to tell myself that all the time, and by doing what I love, I've realized that it has opened up a lot of opportunities for me. I hope that it translates to you too!

As always,

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful!

Ciao!

Love,

V


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Click to buy Izak Zenou merchandise below


http://www.steinmart.com/izak--je-suis-fleur-passport-case-zid25-54268883/cat-25-catid-50?var_id=25-54268883&vva_SizeCode=99999&vva_ColorCode=979&_t=pfm%3Daprhttp://www.steinmart.com/izak--runway-small-cosmetic-case-8-x-5-x-3--zid25-54269634/cat-25-catid-50?var_id=25-54269634&vva_SizeCode=99999&vva_ColorCode=979&_t=pfm%3Daprhttp://www.steinmart.com/izak-red-lips-passport-case-zid25-54268131/cat-25-catid-50?var_id=25-54268131&vva_SizeCode=99999&vva_ColorCode=979&_t=pfm%3Dapr




Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Edge Of Paradise.

 I'm not super human.
I don't have any super human powers.
I'm vulnerable. I get hurt too. I don't always make the right decisions.
I'm a beautiful mess.
And if I could, I would live forever through your love.
Because love never dies... It never disappears....
It becomes apart of you and makes you immortal. 
 And You have made me immortal...
Loving someone is mix of happiness and heartbreak. You don't necessarily look for someone who won't break your heart, because lets be honest, when it comes to being in love, everyone is going to get hurt.
You look for that someone who is still going to be there to wipe your tears away afterwards. After all of the fights, the disagreements, the petty arguments. Real love is unconditional, real love is forgiving.
The love that we all want, is that kind of love that you can't live without. Sounds cliche, I know, but it's true.
Real love not only takes your breath away, but it leaves you breathless for a few moments longer. Your body shakes. Entranced, enthralled. High off of it.
 It's amazing.
It's dangerous.
It's addicting.
And you'll always want more of it.
To me, when it comes to love, it is not necessarily about always having great communication between one another. Sometimes love can be between two people who are from two totally different worlds and it can be hard to understand one another. Love is when you don't give up on one another and realize that though you two may be different, you accept those differences.
Real and healthy love is also not about control or dependency. I used to think that being in love with someone, meant being with them all of the time. And when they were gone, I felt so empty. Being in love with someone doesn't mean letting go of who you are, it means being able to love someone else while still keeping your own identity. Your whole universe shouldn't revolve around one person.
One of my exes used to tell me "Why should I care about you, when you don't even care about yourself?" And that speaks volumes about self love. Even though he was cruel about it, it was true. Learning to love yourself first is key to finding real, healthy love.
We are not perfect...we all have flaws and scars. Finding someone who will not only accept your scars, but kisses away the pain that those scars have caused you and makes you see life in a different light, is someone who is worthy of being with you.
I am not super human. I have no super human powers. I can't give you everything you want, but I can give you what you need, and that's all of my love.

Be Bold Be Brave Be Beautiful,

Love

V

P.S. I'm opening up a shop soon! I've been busy designing clothes and traveling, but I will try to write once a week from now on for my lovely readers from around the globe. Xoxo


Photo Cred Melissa Sanchez

Outfit Details

Kimono Custom Made By V

Lace Romper Guess

Heels Michael Kors

Seashell Bag Thrift

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Lost Love in Osaka, Japan.

What do you do when you can't find your way home? I've never really felt that I had a home to go to when I find myself lost, but when I was in Japan, I had a host family that always left the lights on for me so that I could follow it and find my way back to them. I've never felt so loved and accepted before, and the last thing that I wanted to do was to have them worry about me...
But when I was in Japan, I had lost my way home. I had decided to go out into town with another friend of mine to explore Namba, Osaka. It was a great experience to navigate our way through a foreign country-with the glittering lights behind us, the busy buzz of civilians everywhere, the smell of delicious and cheap street food-we were young and completely enjoying our youth.
We danced to the sounds of Japanese and Korean music blasting from the night clubs, uncovered an underground shop, feasted on Ramen noodles, and didn't have a care in the world.
But pretty soon, it was past 11:00 PM and in Japan some trains stop operating after this time. Even when we were warned not to take the rapid express train home, we took it anyway in a rush to get to our homes quickly. 
We didn't get off at the correct stop and ended up at the southern end of Osaka, far away from home and no way to get home. Our feet ached, our minds were weary, and our hearts were heavy. We had no other way to get in contact with our loved ones either. We were completely on our own at an empty Japanese train station around 12 midnight.
 I was strangely calm even though knowing that I was lost. I only remember thinking that I will always find my way home one way or another, and being worried wouldn't help anything.
 After standing around at the empty train station for a while, we luckily caught another train headed close to home. The train station workers knew our predicament just by looking at us, and decided to not charge us further fare as well. It's funny how body language is superbly universal.
The train could not take us all the way home, so our best bet was to take a taxi. Keep in mind that I am the only one in our whole group that doesn't know any Japanese, but I had a receipt from a store in my home town that I had, and showed it to the taxi driver. Miraculously, he knew where to go and took us all the way home. With a 60.00 dollar fee of course.
I was glad that I eventually found my way home, even though it was about one in the morning. But I was proud of myself for having so much hope during tough times.
My host family was a bit worried for me, but all was well when I explained to them what had happened.
I was glad that they were so understanding, I never had that before and it was nice to not be scolded at for simply living my life.
If you ever find yourself lost one day, unable to find your way home, please don't lose hope. Keep calm and know that things will be okay. They were for me and they will be for you. Go out there and enjoy your life for what it is.

Always Remember,

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful,

Love,

V


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Outfit deets

Dress Love Culture

Heels Dolce Vita

Photographer Bianca Xiong

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Escape Into Me.

Growing up I never thought I was beautiful.
Whenever I looked into the mirror, I saw every flaw I had. I would stand in front of the mirror and pick myself apart because of the way I looked and how much I weighed. As I stared longer, I saw my deepest fears, my lack of self confidence, my frailties, my vulnerabilities, my weaknesses--it was all a sickness that I felt I couldn't find a cure for.
I was broken and I looked to other people to put myself back together. I used to look for approval whenever I wanted to do something and couldn't for the life of me, make my own decisions so I would let others make them for me. If they told me that I couldn't do it, then I wouldn't do it. I set myself up for failure before I even gave it my all.
I had been like this for years. Never loving myself, never taking care of myself, never sticking up for myself and letting myself be a total doormat for others to walk all over. I guess at one point, after hitting rock bottom so many times, I finally had enough. And when I finally realized I had enough, I was stripped of almost everything that made me human. Self hatred has eaten me from the inside out and I was just a skeleton with warped emotions living an empty life with those who made me feel empty.
Because I didn't love myself, I think that was why I would also attract people who would treat me the exact same way. The one person that loved me no matter how badly I treated myself was my grandmother. She made the holiday's less lonely, my birthday's more festive, my life achievements filled with more value. But ever since she passed away, even with Peaches by my side, it was as if I drifted back into the abyss of self loathing. 2014 has been a changing year for me because I didn't want to live like this forever. I wanted to lead a different life where I didn't hate myself and where I didn't have people in it who would put me down when I was already down.
So on May 27th 2014, I traveled halfway across the world to a foreign country to celebrate my birthday, to celebrate myself, to heal myself from all the hurt I've experienced, and to get away from those who have hurt me as well. It was only 2 weeks, but I've learned more in those 2 weeks than I have ever learned in my whole life.
I came back a different person. I realized my flaws...such as my weight, my looks, and how I can be a little bit sensitive...and I embraced each and every one of them.
I realized that I am so much more than my flaws. I am also a young woman with dreams, who isn't afraid to chase after them. I am a young woman who dared to stare fear right in the eyes, knowing that fear would stare right back into mine. I am strong because I survived. I survived everything that I have been through and more. And now, I am a young woman who finally accepts her flaws.
 I am human and I am a who human who is finally whole again because I put myself back together.
When I look back at all I've been through, I am not ashamed because all of those experiences made me who I am. It's such an exhilarating feeling, to tear away from making the same old decisions and living the same old life. It feels so good to become someone who you always wanted to be but were always afraid to become.
I no longer have to run away from myself. I don't have to surround myself with people who don't support me. I don't need to pick on myself because of my weight, how I look, and the way I lead my life. This is all me and this is the year that I've learned to celebrate it!
Now I run towards my dreams and towards self acceptance. In return, I have found people who genuinely care for me and love me for who I am. I don't look for someone to complete me anymore, but someone who accepts me completely. And this is the kind of love that we should all strive for. A world where we love ourselves for who we are and to have someone else who loves you for who you are as well.
I hope that all your dreams and wishes come true next year. No matter how much you change, remember that your past makes you who you are, and there is no need to be ashamed of it. Practice self love, follow your heart, and strive to be a better you.

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful,

Love Always,

V


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Outfit deets

Dress XSCAPE

Heels Dolce Vita

Photography by Mary Vang